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Secondary Infertility, a guest blog by Melissa Edwards

So, a lot people think that once you get pregnant you are in the clear for more children. As a matter of fact, I remember people telling me after I had my daughter that getting pregnant again would be super easy. Well, I am here to tell you that in some cases it is not so easy. You try and try and keep wondering what’s going on. Is it because I am a few years older? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with him? All I knew at the time was that it felt like everyone was getting pregnant around me and I was not.  And after a year of trying, my doctor said two words that floored my husband and I – fertility specialist. Hearing those words was like a shot to the heart, especially since we already had a child.

The term is called secondary infertility, and it is becoming more common every day.  Chances are you probably know someone who has it or have experienced it yourself. When my husband and I went through it we were in shock at first and I remember thinking that my doctor was crazy. How is this even possible? Our first trip to the fertility specialist was disheartening. We both had to take some test that would determine our fertility levels. We thought for sure one of us was going to get disappointing test results. So, when both the test came back fine, we were really confused. Our fertility specialist diagnosed us with unexplainable Infertility.  Are you kidding me!! What does that even mean?

Well, we soon found out that it means the doctors have no idea why we can’t get pregnant on our own. According to the doctor and his staff, the good news is since everything is working like it should then they can help us get pregnant. Even though they really emphasized the good news, I remember still feeling so frustrated and hopeless. Every month that passed by with a negative pregnancy test was another month of crying and blaming.  The costs involved did not help out any of our frustrations.

I tried to strengthen my relationship with God, so I started doing a lot more praying.  At one point I realized my obsession with conceiving a second child was getting in the way of my relationship with my daughter and my husband. I began to focus on what I needed to do to get out of my rut and my daily baby obsession. I decided that after 3 ½ years of being a stay-at-home- mom, I was ready to go back to work. I needed to go back to work. I needed something else to focus on. It worked!  As luck (and God) would have it, I got pregnant a month into my job.

It took almost a year and 5 IUIs and we finally were pregnant again. Our son, Maxton, is truly our little miracle baby.We couldn’t be happier with both of our babies and every day I say a little prayer to God and thank Him for blessing us with our children.

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